Decompression
by Fear of the Unknown
Summary: Holly pays a visit to the institutionalized Artemis and they talk about humans, fairies, guilt, and trust.  Semi-spoilers for The Atlantis Complex


You know the drill people. I don't own anyone, I just sponge the brain juices off of a published author and insert my own viral codes into the DNA of the story cells, to propagate my intellectual ideas once they burst forth from the decayed corpse of the story, having consumed all inside.

So… uh… no suing please.

Decompression

Captain Holly Short was not used to making "house calls" like this. LEP Recon personnel were often sent to the survivors of fallen officers to give their condolences, but Holly had only ever done this once. And when you had to describe how a new recruit had fallen to a sudden flood of cheese flavored nutrient sludge, the conversation tends to be awkward for all involved.

This was different of course. "Loony Bin" was not the polite term for this place, but that's what the outside world called it, and old habits die hard. And she would rather not be here at all. The compound was a depressing place. Even with magic, the mind was complicated thing, and when it broke, it tended to stay that way. Fortunately for Artemis, Atlantis Complex was not an instance of this.

That being the reason she was here, standing on the artificial fields of one of the various recreation rooms. It was a totally enclosed area, but the walls that curved up to the ceiling were actually screens that projected a nice, clear day on the surface. Trees, as artificial as the grass, were dotted throughout the field. From what Holly had heard, it was a largely inconsequential attraction, meant really only to break up the monotonous shots of sterile white rooms for the documentaries. But, looking around, Holly had to admit that the inmates ("Shouldn't say that, makes them seem like convicts") looked calm and peaceful at least, lazily shambling around the enclosure.

That, or it was all the sedatives.

The in- _patient_ she was looking for was sitting on a bench that was beginning to be, and in a few years would be, too small for him. She'd actually had to double check to make sure, despite the patient's size making it impossible for him to be anyone else, because of what he was wearing.

"_Jeans_ Artemis? Is this part of your therapy?" It was supposed to be a serious meeting, but seeing the teen genius in average Mud Men clothing was nothing short of surreal. The boy looked over his shoulder at the sound.

"Ah, hello Holly." There was a certain calmness and slur to his voice that made it apparent that he was at least mildly sedated. "I hope you have not come simply to gawk at my outfit."

"I'm afraid not. I was just… a little taken a back. You look… um… nice. Very street. That is the word you people use, right?" Artemis groaned. He wondered briefly which was worse, his debilitating psychosis, or having to continuously wear these ridiculous clothes. It was too close a call.

He leaned forward, supporting his chin on his intertwined fingers, partially in thought, and partially to hopefully keep Holly from seeing the horrifying non-word emblazoned across his t-shirt as she came around to sit next to him.

"Never use that… word again. I may be insane, but I will not be reduced to such adjectives." Besides, people didn't use that word seriously anymore.

"Relax. I was just trying to be nice." She paused for a moment, looking forward at nothing in particular. "Why are you wearing those things anyway?" Artemis sighed.

"I made a promise to mum. Don't smirk," he added, not even having to turn his head to know she was anyway. "She made me promise to say that too. And if I don't, the centaur will make a note of it and, ahem, "tattle" on me."

Holly wondered if his paranoia was still running rampant, and it seemed Artemis could read her mind.

"No, I'm actually not paranoid about that. The first time the centaur was made aware of my… arrangement, he swore to help me out by making absolutely sure I stuck to it. After he stopped laughing and got back up off the ground."

Holly gave a chuckle, but with nothing else to say, the atmosphere quickly became awkward. The reason she was here was that Dr. Argon had contacted Holly to ask for her help. Apparently Artemis had reached some sort of impasse. The key to resolving any case of Atlantis Complex was the patient moving past their guilt. Artemis, apparently, was still unable to do so. And until he did, he wouldn't get any better.

"So, um… what are you thinking about?," Holly asked lamely. Years of LEP Recon training did not prepare her for situations like this. Even from this angle, she could see that Artemis's eyes still looked distant, his arms still fidgeted, even with the sedatives.

Butler had shared his concerns with Holly, knowing she felt the same way. They were both warriors at heart, and while they could save Artemis from any physical enemy, they had no clue how to deal with saving Artemis from himself.

Artemis remained silent, until he stated, in a somewhat off hand manner:

"I was just thinking about relationships between fairies and humans."

Had Holly been drinking something at that moment, as all the rules of drama demanded she do, this would have been when she spat it out in some sort of comedic manner. Even so, she sputtered and jerked back in surprise. Artemis did not react to this physically, and continued to stare blankly off into space.

"While our encounter with Turnball Root and his wife certainly kindled my most recent thoughts on this subject, that was not quite what I was talking about. I meant the similarities between our two People." It seemed, Holly thought, her mind desperately trying to regain its footing after the jolt, Atlantis Complex also caused a bad outbreak of puns. She considered if Artemis was in a right enough mind to be toying with her ("_Again_") with those last two sentences.

"Should I be insulted or complemented, Artemis?"

"Come now, Holly, I'm being serious. Surely someone as intelligent as you knows what I'm talking about, at least by now." It was taking her some time to get back into the groove of verbally sparing with her friend, so the back handed, yet apparently genuine, compliment didn't put her as off base as the previous implied Human-Fairy "relationships."

"Artemis… I… it's true, you and you're family have certainly given me a lot to think about regarding individual Mud People. But… your people are still destroying our home. They continue to push farther and farther, taking more and more. There may be general similarities, sure, but they still represent everything I hate." She couldn't help noticing the glint that came to his eye and the slight smirk on his otherwise featureless face, not unlike when a predator cornered his prey. Holly realized, much to her annoyance, that Artemis had planned on her saying that. Even when he was insane, he still mustered up enough cunning to be utterly insufferable.

"Very nice. I'm sure you're Mud Person studies teacher would be very proud." Holly rolled her eyes, but said nothing. Ever since her first encounter with the genius boy, back when boy had been a more appropriate of an adjective, she'd begun to read up on hostage situations and negotiations. She figured that if she let him rant for a bit, perhaps he'd beginning opening up more, and she could find some way to help him.

"Holly, of the last half dozen adventures we've been on, how many of the world ending crises has been caused by a human? Excusing, of course, that one time it was all my fault." Holly tried to ignore his question; dismiss it as another facet of his psychosis.

Of course, he was right. After Artemis had barged his way into fairy society, swindled their gold away, and taken off laughing and scot free, it had pretty much been fairies. First it was Koboi. Artemis's little cube incident. Then Koboi again. Then Leon Abbott. Then ("Sigh") Koboi again. Then Turnball Root. Pretty much every catastrophe or potential catastrophe. However, she couldn't let such an insult, even such an indirect one, to her race stand.

"That's hardly fair, Artemis. Those were-"

"- the exceptions, hm?" Artemis interrupted, finally turning his head to look at Holly eye to eye. It wasn't as unnerving to her as it had been back when they first met. The slightly dopey and lazy expression softened helped too. The mismatched eyes, a constant reminder of their closeness, still struck her. It was almost as if he had chosen that moment to turn his head to further enforce his point on the similarities of Mud People and Fairies. She hated that she had to think in such complicated ways around her friend.

"Fine then. How about the less overtly disastrous problems? How about the various bureaucratic obstacles you've had to jump through? How about the idiocy seemingly ubiquitous in every level of your command structure? The seedy underworld that your government has been able to do little about? Even Foaly's genius engineering has been a curse in disguise, leaving your security wide open to attack from your enemies. And frankly, The People's constant arrogance is very insufferable."

Holly had to give a chuckle at the irony of Artemis calling anyone arrogant and insufferable. More than that, she was severely annoyed at Artemis's listing of problems, something he'd obviously thought up before hand for just this occasion. She was more annoyed that he had listed all of her current grievances against her own society. Holly had once quit specifically because of the stupidity and bureaucratic wrangling of her superior. With Commander Vinyaya gone, she could only hope someone as infuriatingly boneheaded as Ark Sool wasn't chosen to replace her. And recently, she felt that the odds of that could be very low.

Artemis was never as aggravating as he was when he was right.

"I know there are problems Artemis, and I know them better than you do. So don't preach to me. I've been doing the best I can to overcome those hurdles. Sure our society isn't perfect, but we do the best with what we can. We have limits we have to work under. There's corruption, I won't deny that. There are idiot, I won't deny that either. They make short sighted decisions they think are for the best that end up causing trouble in the long run. We're-"

"Only mortal." His smile showed teeth now, and a little cog clicked into place in Holly's head.

"D'Arvit, Artemis!" She raised her voice, almost shouting, and saw one of the orderlies close by raise a finger and much a shushing motion. "Fine, there are many similarities between The People and humans. We're all equally stupid and shortsighted. But, I didn't come here to dance to your conversational puppetry." And for the first time since this whole mixed up conversation started, Artemis lost his smirk, and looked away guiltily. All the certainty in his form drained away, replaced by the fidgeting characteristic of the Atlantis Complex. It was unsettling for Holly to see him this way, given his previous confidence.

"Of course, Holly, I apologize." Holly's face grew concerned.

_Back to the fives again. Hadn't he gotten any better at all? _

Seemingly not noticing the change in atmosphere, Artemis gave a small, weak, and hollow smile.

"It's not as if I have any right to complain. I have done my share of damage to the world."

_Ten and ten._

"That is why I am in here, it is not? My actions have built up. Now I have to deal with the consequences of them." His face grew depressed and he went back to staring off into space. Holly saw the opening. This is why she was here. She'd always thought Artemis was her equal, but it seemed she always forgot he still wasn't full grown yet. He'd been so certain his entire life, so completely satisfied in his own beliefs and actions he didn't know how to deal with… well, a conscience. And it almost surprised her to find it hurt her to see him so vulnerable. Artemis wasn't supposed to be vulnerable. However out of his depth he was, he always adapted.

_Then I just need to nudge him along this time._

"Artemis… you're not the only one with regrets. I do not have the most stellar record in the LEP."

"I know, I've hacked them." He smiled lopsidedly.

_Good. No stupid word counting. One step at a time._

"But it's not the same, Holly. All your mistakes have been with the best of intentions. Whereas mine… I knew what I was doing. I knew what the consequences would be. I did them all anyway. And," he lowered his voice. "I'm not entirely certain I wouldn't do them again."

"You know that's not true," Holly replied softly. "You're not the same person as you were back when we first met. We've been over that. You're not even the same person you were three years ago. You're only a M-, mortal." And Artemis actually seemed to perk up a bit. Which eased Holly somewhat, as actually seeing her friend so… _beaten_… it was heartbreaking.

"I just need to be reminded of that by someone I trust. The pit falls of being a genius, I suppose."

"Yes, how troubling your arrogance is for _you_."

Artemis actually turned to look at her, and without his usual carefully controlled barriers up, his surprise was very clear. Then… he smiled. Head in his hands, he broke out in laughter.

_Gotten one over on Artemis and made him laugh. Mark the date._

"I am truly sorry, my friend. How pathetic I must seem, whining about my mistakes and my 'horrible life,'" His voice suddenly became deeper and he broke out into a melodramatic tone. "'Oh, how terrible my life is! Oh, woe is me, to have such a miserable existence!'".

_Oh no, he's developing a sense of humor._

"Don't worry about it. I hear that such behavior is common in teenagers." The two sat back in the bench, laughing and smiling just out of happiness for once, the unbearable tension of the past few minutes gone. But…

"But, Artemis," Holly's voice became serious again. "It's not pathetic. You're not pathetic. We all have to confront our regrets. And you're long overdue." Artemis too stopped laughing, his mouth a thin line again, and he stared up at the fake sky.

"I mean, after what happened with Commander Ro- with Julius, I always wondered, tortured myself, over what I could have done. Was there anything else I might have been able to do? What did I over look, what opportunity didn't I grab?"

"There wasn't anything, Holly."

"Of course there wasn't. At least, not for the person I was at that moment, with the options and time I had." Artemis said nothing, and just sighed and slumped further down into the bench.

"Alright, alright. I get it. Intellectually, I've always known that."

"So have I, but that's not good enough. You'll probably always feel guilt, but in order to move past it, you have to recognize more than just intellectually, that isn't any point in looking back now and wondering. Dealing with it is not so much an epiphany as it is a habit. Just keep at it."

"I know, I've written in several psychological journals about guilt. It's just always harder to recognize the sign in yourself than it is in others. So much easier to rationalize your own doubts and fears." There was more silence as Artemis took some time to organize his thoughts.

"Heh, here I am, a 15 year old with more regret and more monumental errors than some people have at the end of their life." He turned to Holly to give another smirk, this one neither predatory nor depressed.

_Getting there, I guess._

"When I was younger, I thought I was as good and as mentally fit as any adult. More than any adult, even. I thought that my life and my genius made up for the difference in years. That I already had more experience in life than most people will ever have." Artemis seemed to relax more, his mind preoccupied with wherever it was going, rather than his guilt.

"That's not how it works though, is it Holly? Experience isn't about what you've seen or what you've done, not entirely anyway. It's about how you've learned to confront the world and yourself. I was just a boy who thought he knew everything, not uncommon for people my age, true. But more than that, even when I recognized I might not know everything, I still didn't question how I thought or how I viewed the world. I simply ignored my seedier actions, convincing myself it was necessary. Our adventures, some more than others, have forced me beyond that, to look very carefully at myself, to come to terms with what kind of person I am. And Holly," Artemis's brow furrowed, and his mouth became a hard line again. "I'm not too thrilled about what I've seen."

Looking at the teen's mismatched eyes, Holly decided it was time to give him another nudge.

"That's what Orion is- was all about, right? You trying to escape the realization that not only have you made mistakes, but those mistakes were inherent to your very nature? You trying to be… someone else?" Artemis flinched a little at the mention of his alter ego.

"In a way, I suppose. That would perhaps be simplifying it a bit. The guilt definitely was a part of it. And…while it's not like I hate everything about my life, I would be lying if I said I didn't wonder how things would be if I was different?"

"You mean a useless idiot spouting ridiculously cliché romantic lines? How did Orion even come up with that garbage?" Artemis smirked at that.

"I am a shut in and disconnected from the world at large, but I'm hardly oblivious to everything in the world or to how people like to think people should act. Or even to financial avenues that aren't actually illegal or at least skirting the line. I simply, several years ago, came up with the perfect formula for writing romance novels and their 'plots,' and have been creating several books since that time as an alternative revenue stream."

_Artemis Fowl writes romance novels. I'm more surprised at the fact that I'm still surprised by things like this._

Something else popped into the captain's mind and it made her fidget as she tried to figure out how to ask it. Luckily, it appeared Artemis was thinking along similar lines ("Or is thinking that I'm thinking about such things").

"I apologize that his words did not come from some deeply hidden romantic soul in me but from my general insanity." Holly would have blushed, but considered it very unprofessional for a fairy or her age and position, and so she turned her head away and managed to suppress it.

"Very funny Artemis. I think I liked you better before you started joking around."

And so here they were, talking about relationships between humans and fairies again, and in the way that Artemis had assured her he didn't mean. Not for the first time, Holly felt like conversations with Artemis were following a script that she wasn't allowed to see. Even with his mind broken and wracked with guilt, Artemis still managed to work in complex and circuitous ways. She wondered whether he even realized it this time, or if it was just second nature to him. If manipulating people was so inherit to who he was that it was just something he did unknowingly.

_That's hardly fair. Artemis has grown beyond that kind of person._ She tried to reassure herself of that, but another, more cynical and critically minded, part of her, honed by years of police work, butted in.

_You've thought that before._

She shook her head and sighed inwardly. This was getting her nowhere. Time to get things back on track.

"So, you wonder what you life would be like if you hadn't been a pubescent criminal mastermind? If you hadn't kicked off our friendship by kidnapping me all those years ago? I'm not sure about your life, but I know about mine: We'd all be controlled by Opal Koboi and her goblin rebels. Or having to deal with our masquerade being revealed when either Minerva showed off a demon or when they all came tumbling back around the world. Or running around, scrambling to get Turnball Root back under control. You may be an arrogant, egotistical genius whose schemes have hurt people, but you're also _our_ arrogant, egotistical genius who's helped the People cover our own asses more often than not." Holly crossed her arms and gave the teen her best "fed up with this" glare. Artemis almost withered, but kept his face remarkably calm.

"You've been a horrible person, Artemis, but you are who you are, and without that, the world would have fallen apart several times over by now. The person you are today is only possible because of who you've been in the past. Every mistake has made you a better person, more aware of your own short comings and more aware of just how much you could be so much more than you were. You've done what every person should do with their mistakes: learned from them. I believe, I _know_, based on who you are now, all the good you've done and have yet to do, all those mistakes were worth it, to make you a better person."

She continued glaring at Artemis, who remained rooted to his side of the bench, no expression crossing his face. Had Holly been paying more attention, however, instead of getting wrapped up in her motivational speech, something her training warned her explicitly not to do, she might have noticed the general sedative malaise on the teen's face was gone. He was not predatory, but focused, his keen mind waiting exactly for this moment.

Finally, Artemis spoke up, his bland tone belying the importance of the question.

"_All_ of the mistakes, Holly?"

Holly knew exactly what mistake he was talking about, and continued to glare at him. Here they were again, and again, Holly had to wonder just how much of this conversation was really under her control. She had thought they'd moved beyond this topic months ago, or perhaps she'd merely convinced herself that they had. And now she wasn't sure they ever really had.

It was something she'd been wondering for awhile now, whenever her mind found itself wandering towards the issue of her friend's condition. What was Artemis so guilty about that it brought on his Atlantis Complex?

_Being a little self flattering, aren't we? Thinking that he was so guilty over betraying your trust he literally went insane?_

"Artemis… I…" Holly searched around for something to not awkward to say, but the situation did not exactly allow for many options.

"Even tricking me into believing I had harmed your mother allowed us to stop Opal from running her little animal chop shop. And I can't deny that it would have been harder to convince us to help if we… I hadn't thought I was responsible. I can understand that you wanted to save your mother." Artemis, anti-social though he was, could still tell when a "but" was coming.

"But, you wer- are my friend. It still hurt. Trust is something that takes a long time to build up, especially in our… unique situation. Things like this would damage even normal relationships. You're still my friend despite it, and I can even still trust you with my life." Artemis nodded, though Holly couldn't be sure exactly what he was nodding to.

"But there will still be that lingering doubt, in the back of your mind, that I might be manipulating you. That even if I have your back, anything beyond that emotionally is… suspect."

"Yeah. However," Holly actually could have sworn that she saw his ear perk up at the adverb. "It's not like we've always been this close. With time, perhaps, we'll become better people, and there won't be that sort of doubt. Emotionally, I mean." Artemis appreciated that she had used a collective pronoun, rather than singling him out.

And that was it, more or less. All doubts and fears out in the open. It's often said that the mark of a good relationship is being able to sit in silence and not have it be awkward. For perhaps the first time in awhile, this applied to these two. Both had seemingly reached the ends of their trains of thought at the same time. All that they had left to do was decompress it all. And so for a few minutes, they sat on the bench and thought. Mimicking some time zone on the surface above, probably keyed to the time cycle in the fairy underground settlements, the fake sun had begun to descend. The sky was just beginning to show some more color, when Holly had finally decided it was probably time for her to go.

"So long Artemis. Do try to get better soon, I can't exactly be saving both the Fairy and Human worlds all by myself, now can I?"

"Psychological crises are complex things, Holly. It takes time to even get back to a workable state, much less allow actually be able to finally say you've recovered. This is true no less for average humans than it is for the average fairy."

"So what, it'll take you another day or so?" Artemis smirked one more time. "And try not to dwell on the pass so much."

"Of course. There are, after all, other times. Better times to look forward to. See you in one of them, Holly."

* * *

And that's it. My first complete fanfic in…uh either a long, long time, or ever. Can't really remember, what with all my half-thought ideas. So, criticism is desperately wanted.

It also occurs to me that leaving Orion out of the story, while allowing for more serious introspection, also keeps him from adding hilarity. Ah well, such is life.

In the interest of full disclosure, the inspiration for this came in no small part from Fire Tears' fanfic Degrees of Poison. It's pretty awesome. Go read it if you haven't already.


End file.
